Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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