I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
sarcasm needs its own font
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
