You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
