i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
