Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize