I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
