Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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