her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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