honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize