I hate your face
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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