You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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