You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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