You're so nebulous sometimes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
