a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
