I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
