i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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