bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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