he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
