Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
