Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
