i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Panties = found
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
