Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
