Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
