is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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