pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
