he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
