Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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