you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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