I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
