u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
