By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
