she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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