Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
