Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize