MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize