Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
