We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
