I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
