Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
