I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
