Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
