Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
