so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
