He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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