So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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