Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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