Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
