We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
