DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Damn victory sex feels great
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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