i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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