the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
