With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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