Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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