tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
