Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
