Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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