There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize