now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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