never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
