So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
