A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
