I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
