omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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