sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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